Foley Leakage?!

For the last 3 days when I go to the bathroom for a bowel movement I have noticed some urine leakage from around the foley catheter.  At first it freaked me out, but then I got really excited.  I don't know if that means I can urinate normally, but I have hope that someday I will go normally again.  I was so excited that I called my urologist office and spoke to the nurse... unfortunately, she was not as excited as I was.  She commented, that it is probably a result of the pressure from the bowel movement.  My take away from the phone call was that I will continue with my scheduled suprapubic catheter insertion on Thursday afternoon as planned.  Praying that goes well, and I don't have any major complications (i.e. leakage, infections).  I started on another antibiotic today to prepare for Thursday.

Disney World Canceled

Didn't go to Disney World with my family, instead my youngest and I stated home.  She had a cold, so that was the excuse for why we didn't go.  Really, I think deep down I lacked the energy and tolerance to deal with the reality of "Cathy" and I having to go to Disney World together.  In my former life, I was a "camel" and could hold my urine for what seemed like forever and I drank/drink a ton of water.  So, I guess in the end, not going to Disney World was a relief, mixed with sadness that I didn't get to see my older kids have a blast a the park.  Thankful for my husband for taking them.

Going to Disney World tomorrow, so I called in reinforcements...

We are taking the kids up to Disney World tomorrow and I wanted to try and make myself as comfortable as possible with the Foley in for our weekend at the parks, so I ordered the Statlock stabilization device from Amazon Prime that has a swivel.  I just attached it which was really simple.  Clean with alcohol pads, prep with prep pads provided and stick in place.  I watched a video from you tube that helped a lot since I had never used one of these before.  But, since I "plug" my catheter during the day and only use the night bag at night I decided to see if I could make my nights more comfortable, while securing the Foley to my leg for day time that wouldn't come loose from the flimsy tape I have been using. So, it looks and feels great.  I will let you know how "Cathy" and I do at the WDW this weekend.

Broken Record

Went back for my 2 week follow up and started crying when I walked in to the urologist office.  Not balling or hysterical but just a steady stream of tears.  Couldn't explain it in words, but perhaps exasperated, hopeless, scared... I have 3 small children and my oldest is 7 years old.  He tells me he prays that I can get back to normal and not have 'that tube' anymore.  I don't realize how this has effected me.  It is a private matter that has completely effected my self-esteem and confidence.  I find myself getting jealous of my husband when he talks about going to the gym and living his healthy, normal life.  I feel so guilty.  At work I go about my day as if everything is fine but every time I go to the bathroom I want to cry.  I just want to be "normal" again and not rely on my new BFF "Cathy" for my happiness.

So, I probably don't have to tell you the outcome of taking out my foley today... It was taken out and 300ml of water was put into my bladder to see if I could urinate while in the office.  I told the urologist I did not want to leave his office without peeing normally (yeah, right) or have "Cathy" back and a plan for moving forward.  I had researched other catheter options and found good information about the Suprapubic Catheter which is inserted in the stomach into the bladder.  It allows the opportunity to practice urinating normally with the back up of the catheter if full elimination is not possible.  It also allows for sexual activity to resume (when given the thumbs up by the gyn of course).  The urologist and I discussed this option and scheduled the insertion of the suprapubic catheter for 11/13/2014.  Hoping and praying for a successful insertion.  Oh, and we also discussed perhaps having to take the "sling" down if I am still having problems after 3-4 months.  I have mixed emotions about this... but we will cross that bridge if and when we get there.

Suprapubic Catheter

HysterSisters.com

I found this website HysterSisters.com that is basically an online support group for women who have had gynecological surgeries.  This is the only real resource I have found that has been helpful to find out real information from real women going through the same thing I have gone through.  What helped me most was learning that every women has a unique and different experience when it comes to these types of surgeries.  But I found out that my experience might not be completely abnormal.  It has almost been a month since my surgery and I would have never thought that I still couldn't urinate properly but through this online community I don't feel so alone.  

WTF?

Love this...  from cafe press

Dilation Procedure

Anxious and excited to have "Cathy" removed and try to pee on my own.  A little scared about the dilation procedure, but it took a few minutes and it was over.  No pain.  No pain meds.  It was fast and easy.  Immediately after the procedure, I went into the bathroom and had a few tiny drops of urine come out.  I celebrated that victory.  I walked out of the urologist bathroom with my hands up over my head as if I had won.  Well, although it was my biggest victory since my surgery, I had certainly not won.  I left without "Cathy" and went back to work positive that the dilation procedure worked and I would be able to pee normally.  After a few hours at work I was back in my car in a panic rushing back to the urologist office.  I had not peed.  Nothing.  Back in the office, I, once again, begged for "Cathy"!  This time much to my relief and at the same time horror, 2 weeks.  I was given a prescription for Cipro (anti-biotic) and Urecholine to take 4 days prior to taking "Cathy" out again.  I was relieved and scared.  Would I have to live with a catheter forever?